Will Therapy Work for Me?
Finding the Right Therapist in Berkeley, CA or Wherever You Are!
You have friends who swear by therapy and say “I can’t imagine functioning without it”! Others say “it didn’t work for me” or “I don’t like talking to strangers” or “what’s the science behind it?”
As a therapist, of course I believe counseling can be helpful. BUT, I love and welcome the skeptics - it forces me to regularly self-reflect and question my practice and my commitment to this field. I want to share two things that have continued to ground me in this work over the years:
First, therapy is not magic. When someone first comes into my office, it’s usually because they’ve been struggling for a while and can’t move forward without seeing some change in themselves, their situation, or in others. It’s understandable that they’d want a guaranteed fix for whatever issue brought them to my door (or online waiting room). If I could wave a wand, sprinkle some magic dust, and say a spell to bring the change they’re looking for, I’d be a billionaire and the most sought after magician in the world! But would I use that magic if I had it? How we respond to challenges defines who we are. We grow and learn about ourselves with each struggle - we tap into strengths we never knew we had, we discover our potential, we increase our empathy, and we build our resilience. Therapy is an opportunity to understand yourself and build your capacity to manage and cope with adversity. Plus, there is no such thing as a magic wand. Therapy is a commitment, an investment in the future. You may not see fast change. You may see change right away, only to have things go back to the way they were, and then slight change, and so on. Things may even feel worse before they feel better. The journey is not linear.
Second, the biggest predictor of positive outcomes in therapy is the therapeutic alliance. While there is some research on the efficacy of different therapeutic modalities for different issues, the client-therapist relationship is considered the most important factor impacting the client’s overall wellbeing and progress in therapy.1 So, how does a therapist create a strong therapeutic alliance? Here are three elements that I believe are crucial to establishing a therapeutic alliance based on trust:
Centering the client - Listening openly to gain understanding
Transparency - Communicating honestly about what is and isn’t working in therapy and soliciting feedback
Accountability - Regularly reflecting on progress and using that information to guide treatment
So, going back to the original question: will therapy work for me? Of course, there are many factors to consider if you are wondering if therapy is the right next step for you. However, if you are asking yourself that question, I will ask you to first answer these two questions:
1) Are you ready to commit to making change, recognizing that the journey may be long and certainly will be bumpy?
2) Have you found someone that you like and trust?
If you answered yes to both of those questions, I am very optimistic that therapy could be incredibly helpful to you!
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1 (Front Psychiatry. 2022; 13: 827321.Published online 2022 Jan 31. doi: 10.3389/fpsyt.2022.827321)
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